[He almost looks ashamed, even though it's only tangentially his fault. For Jack, it all loops back around to the fact that he never should have allowed this to happen in the first place--never should have put himself in a position where they'd be in this much danger. Now, he's paid the price.]
Can't move it.
[It's not the end of the world. He's trained to shoot and fight with both, so his combat ability isn't lessened. It's just the smaller things that will take some relearning. Some getting used to.]
They said it happens sometimes, when they bring people back. Something goes a little wrong. Can't feel anything with it, either.
( ana watches his expression, tracing her fingers over the back of his hand. she knows that there won't be a reaction, knows that he's truthful but just as jack had hoped ana does too. he can adjust, but she doesn't wish for him to have to )
Is it the only thing?
( just to get it out of the way, find out everything at once. she doesn't want any surprises later, and anything else that may be wrong they can plan around at the same time as his hand. they'll work on it, and jack won't be the only one adapting with it -- some things ana does she'll shift a little to keep this in mind )
Are you-- ( gabriel had hit him hard. not physically but what he'd injected jack with, making his biology work against him. she didn't know exactly what was in the syringe but given what she knew that gabriel had wanted from her-- )
[All his scars are reproduced too faithfully for him to worry about whether or not he's a clone (though the thought certainly crossed his mind), and the only thing that doesn't work is his hand. That doesn't, however, mean he isn't going to fall apart without warning, but then again, he lives with that possibility simply by being an SEP graduate who's more than overstayed his welcome.
She asks him how he feels and he can't even begin to describe it. It's been three days for everyone else, but for Jack, it's like it just happened. He's barely had time to process it all, much less make any sense of it. There's one thing, however, that he knows definitively, and he lets his forehead rest against Ana's shoulder as she inspects his hand.]
We're not getting him back, are we.
[He says it more like a statement than a question, like he's finally admitting something he should have come to terms with a long time ago. Jack knows, on some level, that Gabriel Reyes was never the man he thought he was, but perhaps deep down he'd never given up hope that he could pull him out of whatever's left. Fight his way through the rage and hate and betrayal and bring back the last person he needs to feel whole again.
Now, however, he feels like he's been plunged in ice water. With his own murder--and not just the murder, but the way Reaper chose to kill him--Jack can't hide from the truth any longer. There's nothing left, and the sheer finality of really, truly, and irrevocably losing Gabriel has him reeling.]
( his question goes unanswered for a time, the small circle that she'd been tracing on his hand become more massaging. he can't feel it, though just maybe it could help, but she's also not really thinking about it, fingers working as ana thinks.
it felt hopeless as if the battle between two friends would never end. gabriel had gone so far, and for all ana felt that she should be angry she wasn't. just sad. disappointed. jack wasn't the only one that missed him, but this was where ana had kept her own feelings quieter. it was a difficult line between them, and it had been there for years before everything had collapsed. and that made her guilty, one small doubt in her mind wondering what would have happened if she'd stayed. overwatch would have still burned, but would they have been saved?
she missed him -- missed them. it was hard not to think of what things had been, especially over the last three days. jack had been gone, leaving her and gabriel, but he was so far out of reach. and yet now, when she should be angry-- )
إن غدا لناظره قريب. ( the words were quieter, and the circles stop, fingers moving to take hold of his wrist, to pull his attention ) I'm not giving up.
( it would hurt more, but after all of this time just letting him go was too difficult. she couldn't quit, not when that friendship had been so much. and gabriel wasn't right. he thought that they'd given up, and ana refused to start now )
[Ana’s silence isn’t as comforting as he’d like it to be, mostly because he knows she doesn’t have a good answer to his question. He tries to focus on her hand instead, like if he watches the way it circles into the back of his palm, he’ll start to feel something again. If anyone can wring something out of him, it’s her, but the more he watches the more disconcerting it is that there’s no sensation to accompany the touch. Jack’s gaze drifts upward instead, head against her shoulder as he looks past her, lost in his own thoughts. Hearing the melodic way she speaks her own language is comforting, and he doesn’t even have to think about the response he gives, even if he’s not sure he can buy into a platitude like that.]
اعرف.
[He’s never been very good at speaking other languages beyond rudimentary conversation necessitated by his position as strike commander, but it’s a passible effort, even if he doesn’t sound quite as nice as she does. It’s more about the sentiment than anything, a simple, easily-conjugated verb mumbled into the fabric of her collar as he tries to let the tension ebb out of his shoulders.
She’s not giving up, which means that he won’t either, but he can’t help but think about the road to ruin they’ll walk in the process. At what point will this—will any of this—be worth either of their lives? What happens when Jack’s war takes Ana from him for good this time? He’s been running on the pain of his betrayal for so long that he isn’t sure what will be left to sustain him once all the rage has bled out.]
He hated me for what I let happen to you.
[Public relations nightmares and high-profile mission failures aside, that had been the true beginning of the end. Jack knows Ana’s final mission was more complicated than this, but he’d been the commanding officer. Bringing her home was his responsibility, and he’d failed. Gabriel never let him forget that, and without Ana’s mediating presence, there was no repairing the steadily-widening fissure between them.]
Thought it’d be easy to hate him right back, especially after all this, but—
[Once all the anger is gone, what’s left? Jack doesn’t finish the sentence—can’t. Too hard to swallow his pride and say that the truth of the matter is that he misses Gabriel more than he can bear.]
( there's a tiny smile, a hint at the appreciation she has for his effort. it may only be one small phrase but there's something about hearing your own language from others. the smile fades quickly as jack carries on, his words nudging at the thoughts that ana already had. if she'd come home--
but ana couldn't change that now, and there was no guarantee that anything may have been better. she would have been alive to them but what may jack have gotten for not watching her back, even if her injuries had been from her own inaction.
she presses her head a little more into him, torn by the hope that she wants to feel and the guilt, and sadness, that she has for the past, and for gabriel )
I don't either. ( ana had tried to, expected that she would after he'd killed jack. all she had felt instead was anger, and then guilt and sadness. she should have been there -- in the barn, and back six years ago )
But there's a chance we may not otherwise have had.
( aside from sombra gabriel was alone here. there was no talon, no plans. nothing of their home minus a few that had been in overwatch. it didn't necessarily mean anything, but it could at least give them a chance. he had little to focus on, nothing to distract him. maybe-- )
[He knows what she's talking about--that they're far removed from the people and problems of their own world. Gabriel has Sombra, but Jack doesn't know how good a friend or ally she really is. They could both be using Talon for their own ends, unconcerned about each other beyond a common goal.
Whatever that common goal is. He knows it's nothing good, and he still doesn't understand why Gabriel has chosen to align himself this way. It's difficult for him to think about how he can possibly fix this when he isn't sure what went wrong in the first place.
Maybe he knows. Maybe he just can't admit it to himself. They're going to kill themselves trying, but he isn't certain what else they can do.]
Gotta find a way off this planet eventually.
[--And then what? Then they'll all go back to their respective missions, and any progress made will be forgotten. Jack will have to address what's just happened between him and Ana in the context of the things they're supposed to accomplish. Will it be too dangerous, to pursue a relationship with her while he's trying to uncover the conspiracy behind Overwatch's fall?
The answer is unequivocally yes, but of course there's no guarantee they'll ever get home. He frowns a little, eyebrows pinched together in thought, then Jack takes his good hand, gently touching her cheek to turn her face towards his.]
( she hadn't. when ana had returned after going home she hadn't remembered anything of being here before, but jack had said that they may have been from slightly different worlds. she didn't understand how it worked but there was nothing different about him, just what she remembered )
I don't know.
( she wanted to believe that they would, that they wouldn't lose this but she didn't have any certainty in that answer. when it happened-- )
We'll have to make the most of it now.
( because they didn't know how long they had here, what would happen next to get them home and whether they'd remember it. it didn't sit right, all of that uncertainty, but ana would also never suggest staying here just for them. they both had missions to complete, and that would come first )
[All at once he's overwhelmed by the idea that they'll both forget all of this and know nothing but the mission they've committed to back home. Given the choice, of course they'll return, even if it means leaving this behind--whatever this is. Jack isn't sure he has words for it yet, beyond something he should have done a long time ago, even if it had been an impossibility.
He doesn't want to leave this behind not knowing whether or not they'll find their way to this conclusion again. Making the most of it will have to be good enough.]
I don't want to lose this.
[He's sure of that, at least for now. Jack still has his good hand against her cheek, and he uses it to pull her closer, his other arm winding its way around the small of her back. He leans a little onto the arm of the sofa, pulling her down with him in a clear indication that he's ready to be finished talking.]
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no subject
Can't move it.
[It's not the end of the world. He's trained to shoot and fight with both, so his combat ability isn't lessened. It's just the smaller things that will take some relearning. Some getting used to.]
They said it happens sometimes, when they bring people back. Something goes a little wrong. Can't feel anything with it, either.
no subject
Is it the only thing?
( just to get it out of the way, find out everything at once. she doesn't want any surprises later, and anything else that may be wrong they can plan around at the same time as his hand. they'll work on it, and jack won't be the only one adapting with it -- some things ana does she'll shift a little to keep this in mind )
Are you-- ( gabriel had hit him hard. not physically but what he'd injected jack with, making his biology work against him. she didn't know exactly what was in the syringe but given what she knew that gabriel had wanted from her-- )
How do you feel?
no subject
[All his scars are reproduced too faithfully for him to worry about whether or not he's a clone (though the thought certainly crossed his mind), and the only thing that doesn't work is his hand. That doesn't, however, mean he isn't going to fall apart without warning, but then again, he lives with that possibility simply by being an SEP graduate who's more than overstayed his welcome.
She asks him how he feels and he can't even begin to describe it. It's been three days for everyone else, but for Jack, it's like it just happened. He's barely had time to process it all, much less make any sense of it. There's one thing, however, that he knows definitively, and he lets his forehead rest against Ana's shoulder as she inspects his hand.]
We're not getting him back, are we.
[He says it more like a statement than a question, like he's finally admitting something he should have come to terms with a long time ago. Jack knows, on some level, that Gabriel Reyes was never the man he thought he was, but perhaps deep down he'd never given up hope that he could pull him out of whatever's left. Fight his way through the rage and hate and betrayal and bring back the last person he needs to feel whole again.
Now, however, he feels like he's been plunged in ice water. With his own murder--and not just the murder, but the way Reaper chose to kill him--Jack can't hide from the truth any longer. There's nothing left, and the sheer finality of really, truly, and irrevocably losing Gabriel has him reeling.]
no subject
it felt hopeless as if the battle between two friends would never end. gabriel had gone so far, and for all ana felt that she should be angry she wasn't. just sad. disappointed. jack wasn't the only one that missed him, but this was where ana had kept her own feelings quieter. it was a difficult line between them, and it had been there for years before everything had collapsed. and that made her guilty, one small doubt in her mind wondering what would have happened if she'd stayed. overwatch would have still burned, but would they have been saved?
she missed him -- missed them. it was hard not to think of what things had been, especially over the last three days. jack had been gone, leaving her and gabriel, but he was so far out of reach. and yet now, when she should be angry-- )
إن غدا لناظره قريب. ( the words were quieter, and the circles stop, fingers moving to take hold of his wrist, to pull his attention ) I'm not giving up.
( it would hurt more, but after all of this time just letting him go was too difficult. she couldn't quit, not when that friendship had been so much. and gabriel wasn't right. he thought that they'd given up, and ana refused to start now )
no subject
اعرف.
[He’s never been very good at speaking other languages beyond rudimentary conversation necessitated by his position as strike commander, but it’s a passible effort, even if he doesn’t sound quite as nice as she does. It’s more about the sentiment than anything, a simple, easily-conjugated verb mumbled into the fabric of her collar as he tries to let the tension ebb out of his shoulders.
She’s not giving up, which means that he won’t either, but he can’t help but think about the road to ruin they’ll walk in the process. At what point will this—will any of this—be worth either of their lives? What happens when Jack’s war takes Ana from him for good this time? He’s been running on the pain of his betrayal for so long that he isn’t sure what will be left to sustain him once all the rage has bled out.]
He hated me for what I let happen to you.
[Public relations nightmares and high-profile mission failures aside, that had been the true beginning of the end. Jack knows Ana’s final mission was more complicated than this, but he’d been the commanding officer. Bringing her home was his responsibility, and he’d failed. Gabriel never let him forget that, and without Ana’s mediating presence, there was no repairing the steadily-widening fissure between them.]
Thought it’d be easy to hate him right back, especially after all this, but—
[Once all the anger is gone, what’s left? Jack doesn’t finish the sentence—can’t. Too hard to swallow his pride and say that the truth of the matter is that he misses Gabriel more than he can bear.]
no subject
but ana couldn't change that now, and there was no guarantee that anything may have been better. she would have been alive to them but what may jack have gotten for not watching her back, even if her injuries had been from her own inaction.
she presses her head a little more into him, torn by the hope that she wants to feel and the guilt, and sadness, that she has for the past, and for gabriel )
I don't either. ( ana had tried to, expected that she would after he'd killed jack. all she had felt instead was anger, and then guilt and sadness. she should have been there -- in the barn, and back six years ago )
But there's a chance we may not otherwise have had.
( aside from sombra gabriel was alone here. there was no talon, no plans. nothing of their home minus a few that had been in overwatch. it didn't necessarily mean anything, but it could at least give them a chance. he had little to focus on, nothing to distract him. maybe-- )
no subject
Whatever that common goal is. He knows it's nothing good, and he still doesn't understand why Gabriel has chosen to align himself this way. It's difficult for him to think about how he can possibly fix this when he isn't sure what went wrong in the first place.
Maybe he knows. Maybe he just can't admit it to himself. They're going to kill themselves trying, but he isn't certain what else they can do.]
Gotta find a way off this planet eventually.
[--And then what? Then they'll all go back to their respective missions, and any progress made will be forgotten. Jack will have to address what's just happened between him and Ana in the context of the things they're supposed to accomplish. Will it be too dangerous, to pursue a relationship with her while he's trying to uncover the conspiracy behind Overwatch's fall?
The answer is unequivocally yes, but of course there's no guarantee they'll ever get home. He frowns a little, eyebrows pinched together in thought, then Jack takes his good hand, gently touching her cheek to turn her face towards his.]
You think we'll remember this if we go home?
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I don't know.
( she wanted to believe that they would, that they wouldn't lose this but she didn't have any certainty in that answer. when it happened-- )
We'll have to make the most of it now.
( because they didn't know how long they had here, what would happen next to get them home and whether they'd remember it. it didn't sit right, all of that uncertainty, but ana would also never suggest staying here just for them. they both had missions to complete, and that would come first )
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He doesn't want to leave this behind not knowing whether or not they'll find their way to this conclusion again. Making the most of it will have to be good enough.]
I don't want to lose this.
[He's sure of that, at least for now. Jack still has his good hand against her cheek, and he uses it to pull her closer, his other arm winding its way around the small of her back. He leans a little onto the arm of the sofa, pulling her down with him in a clear indication that he's ready to be finished talking.]
no subject
she lets herself slide easily with him, one hand moving back up to his head, fingers brushing over his temple )
You'll always have me.
( the words are quiet, sneaked in before ana kisses him again. she's always been there. she'll always be there )