[Remembering it is the worst part--burning up on the inside, Reaper's hands around his throat, the sight of Ana in the doorway, a calculated twisting motion that plunged everything into darkness. He doesn't feel gone for very long, but the Savrii attendants in the Ingress complex are quick to tell him it's been days. It's difficult to make sense of it all. Of course other residents of the Moira had spoken about the way people are brought back to life, but Jack is entirely cynical, and he'd spent his last moments thinking about how he'd effectively gotten Ana killed, too.
Even if he's here now--if any of this is even real in the first place--it doesn't change the fact that Reaper likely wreaked havoc in his absence, which means he needs to catch up as soon as possible. Having a goal in mind helps the numbness, the uncomfortable realization that he was dead and now he's not, but he still moves like he isn't sure whether or not this is actually happening. If he's dreaming up some sort of afterlife that he took great pains to convince himself didn't exist.
What's important is making sure his people are okay, starting with Ana. He lingers in the Ingress complex long enough to get a brace for his hand (imperfect technology--this happens sometimes, when people are brought back), trying to come to terms with all of this. Any of this.
The sight of the house once he reaches Region 2 is far more comforting than it has any right to be, and Jack wastes no time letting himself in the front door. His breath catches in his throat, leaving him unable to call out for the other occupant of the house, but his entrance is not exactly subtle either way.]
( The past three days... It's all too clear in her head -- the sight of Jack, of Gabriel. It had been long planned, and she'd known about Gabriel's intentions for months. Years, if she thought long enough.
It had led her to spending most of her time in Jack's room. It's not sentimental but practical. His walls are still decorated with his theories, things that Ana had added to and had worked even more on over the past few days. Jack was dead but that didn't mean that the- that she could stop on trying to uncover the truth. She would, if only to prove him right. To prove them right.
The noise of the door brings Ana's attention away from the note that she'd been attaching, abandoning it to the floor as she grabs her sidearm from the dresser. Her steps are quick but quiet as she moves out into the hallway to descend the stairs.
Seeing the figure her gun is instantly pointed to them, mouth open to speak and-- )
[Jack looks dazed more than anything, like he's not even sure whether or not this is his house. He hears noise on the stairs and flinches, the fingers on his left hand twitching as if he's trying to reach for a gun that isn't there. It takes him a moment to register the sight of her, like he's processing everything in front of him a few seconds slower than he should be. Maybe he's just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
He stands frozen, the expression on his face a clear indication that he's not sure any of this is real. He barely registers the gun. When he tries to speak, he finds he has nothing to say, and he imagines he looks completely dumbfounded at the sight of her.]
Ana--
[That's all he manages to say before his body catches up, crossing the distance to the bottom of the stairs. It might be real--it might not be, but all he can think is that she's here and she's safe.]
( God, she wants this, wants him but Ana had seen him die. Though she'd read on the network some time ago that people had been brought back from the dead it wasn't something that she remembered in this moment, and as Jack crosses to the stairs the gun she'd pointed at him tracks him round )
You died.
( For real, this time. It wasn't as if he'd just disappeared as she had, Ana had seen the life drain from him, seeing Gabriel's actions. Jack had died, and his body had been taken. Whatever this was it couldn't be him, and she'd already seen false Jacks once here -- she wasn't going to let her guard down on this )
What do you want?
( What does he hope to do other than torment an old woman? Or kill her? )
[Jack sounds disbelieving, too, because he remembers it all. He knows what she saw, what she must have seen. Even with reports of the Ingress bringing people back to life, how can you possibly believe it when you see the murder happen?
But it takes him a moment, the gun genuinely confusing him before he realizes that of course she doesn't trust this. It's some kind of trap. It has to be, because there's no other explanation. If their roles were switched, he'd be doing the same thing.
He knows better than to try and close the distance, and instead he raises his hands slowly in defense, trying to think of something he can say to put her at ease. All be wants is to go to her, and Jack has never been particularly patient. There's nothing he can do but try and convince her.]
They brought me back. [Somehow. He doesn't understand it, and he isn't sure there's no catch, aside from his hand.] It's me.
( Trick or not Ana's glad when he stops walking towards her because she doesn't relish having to shoot at a Jack-shaped person. She'd already done it once with the shadow, but that Ana had known with certainty that it wasn't Jack.
This... she wasn't to believe, but there's also nothing telling her it certainly is him (other than her own wishes) )
[The good thing, Jack supposes, is that they have thirty years of shared experiences to draw from. Even functioning as part of an impossibly close-knit team, Jack is full of stories that only he and Ana would know. It takes him only a moment to think of one.]
I got shot evacuating Giza after we quarantined Anubis.
[A stray bastion unit, one that should have shut down with the God Program. Jack pulls up his compression shirt to reveal the scar--a clean entry wound, where the bullet ripped straight through his abdomen. Incapacitating even for a super soldier.
He doesn't understand why all of his scars are still intact--surely a genuine resurrection is impossible--but he's glad he still has them, if only for this.]
You waited with me while the rest of them brought in the drop ship. Bled all over your gear. You said if I lived you'd take me to Hawaii the next time we got a vacation.
[It's something that happened in another life, but it brings a wistful smile to his face all the same.]
( The story at first... well, anyone could have found that out, though the scar did help. It isn't until the last part, the part that only Jack had heard, that Ana's convinced.
Slowly her gun lowers, smile forming )
You never were good at vacations.
( Though neither was she. They always had one more mission to do, something troubling them too much to leave.
It really was him, and Ana's relieved about that -- if confused )
How are you alive?
( He'd said, but this sort of thing didn't happen )
[Jack's breath sticks in his throat for a long moment as he watches her, taking in every minute change in her expression to try and see whether or not she's buying it. When she lowers her gun, the relief he feels is overwhelming, and he closes the rest of the distance between them, but stop short, like he's not sure whether or not she's going to welcome any physical contact.]
I don't know. I woke up in the Ingress Complex. They told me it's been three days.
[All he wants to do is reach out to her, but he thinks there will always be a part of him that worries it's not real. And how can he get close, when he might not even be the same, and he put her through all this in the first place? They're in this mess because he thought he could deal with Reaper alone. His shoulders slump and his head bows, posture thoroughly contrite.]
( As one hand tucks the gun away the other reaches out to him, hand laying on the side of his face )
You didn't know what he had.
( They knew what he'd try, and the lengths that Gabriel would go, but not what he had done to get there.
Ana also knows what else his apology means. It's not simply for dying but for the emotional turmoil of what that action had done. Even though she'd felt agony over his death, and had perhaps been a little obsessive (and not at all grieving) over the past few days, what she felt now...
[He'd let his guard down, assumed he could take care of it on his own, and paid the price. He's lucky that she's unhurt--Jack knows full well what Repaer might have done in his absence, and he'd been expecting to walk home and find it all gone. He'd have no idea what to do if that were the case. It had all been his fault.
As soon as she touches him, that's all the permission he needs. Jack steps closer and lifts his arms a little, leaning into her gesture so that he can pull her into an embrace. It's tentative, at first, like he doesn't quite know what he's doing, but she's warm and she's real, and he gives himself over to instinct. Jack bends into her, pulling her close and burying his forehead into her shoulder.]
Shouldn't have put you through that.
[Any of it--shouldn't have left her vulnerable. He breathes deeply, taking her in, trying to tell himself that it's all right now, even if it hasn't been for a very long time.]
( The hand on his cheek slips round to rest on the back of his neck as Ana leans into him, letting silence fall. Words didn't matter, not now. Sure things had gone to shit -- Jack had died, Gabriel could have taken her out too... but Jack was back. Everything else was less important )
It doesn't matter.
( It does. Gabriel had finally taken that step, and they now wouldn't know what he might do. But they'd be together for whatever came.
Though... ) What happened to your hand? ( Yeah, she'd noticed the brace in the initial encounter )
[Jack is more than content to just stay here for as long as possible—buried against her neck, letting his world shrink down to the warmth of her arms and the familiar smell of her hair, trying to let that ease him. Of course, it can’t be so simple, and they’re going to have to deal with Gabriel eventually, especially now that he’s gone to such lengths, but Jack wants this moment and he isn’t going to let anything ruin it.
Which means she’s going to bring up his hand, though Jack makes no moves to pull away from her or show it—she’ll have to take hold of it herself if she wants to get a good look (not that he’ll be able to feel it if she does so). He’s still perhaps holding out hope that whatever went wrong with it will right itself eventually, though deep down, he knows that he’s lost it for good.
It’s not something he really wants to think about, and it’s not something he wants her to be worrying about either, even though it’s in her nature to do so.]
Don’t worry about it.
[Just a side-effect, and he’s lucky to be mostly intact otherwise. He doesn’t seem to want to move from where he is, and instead tilts his head slightly to press his lips to her cheek, an impulsive gesture that’s a clear attempt to reassure her.]
( Don't worry about it. She'd been concerned before, and Jack's attempt to dodge the question only reaffirms that there is something to worry about.
Ana starts to make a move for it, hand raising to rest on his elbow, body shifting slightly.
Then his lips press to her cheek, and her movements pause -- fingers gently gripping his elbow )
Jack?
( Her voice is hushed. Curious, cautious. She stops her move to check his hand, letting that slip to the back of her mind for later once he's settled, and her head dips an inch, resting back against him )
I'm here, Jack. ( He had to be a little confused, knowing he was dying and then suddenly that was not the case. Though Ana had questioned whether he was real she didn't think that he may have had similar questions ) I'm here.
[Jack knows immediately that it was too forward--a poor attempt at taking the attention off his hand and crossing that unspoken line they've always kept between them. He'd be lying if he said he didn't care deeply for Ana in ways that are difficult to describe, but as commander and second, any acting on any feelings would be a breach of professionalism and protocol. He's spent a very long time making sure to fight down those feelings and keep that distance.
Now, it seems to matter less, but there's still that hesitation, that self-imposed restriction that's more a force of habit than anything. Still, he wonders if he hasn't made a mistake.]
I'm sorry.
[For an awful lot of things. She doesn't push him away and he crumpled slightly, not wanting to move from the embrace.]
( Where there'd normally be bravado, and Ana laughing off his concern because they're stronger and better than that, this time she doesn't. This time the attempt had been closer, and for three days she truly had lost him, knowing the pain that she'd never wanted to think of before )
So did I.
( There's a slight huff, a heavy release of breath. Her fingertips have been rubbing a light circle on his elbow, trailing down his arm as Ana leans back to look at him, the hand on the back of his neck slipping down to the top of his chest )
I'm glad that it was not forever.
( Even with what it might mean. She's just relieved that it isn't a pain that she has to live with forever, because Ana doesn't know what that would mean. Or what she would do.
There's a couple of seconds of silence, Ana simply watching him, before she leans back in, lightly kissing his cheek.
Once. Twice.
And then him. It's a gentle shift before her lips are on his, just for a few seconds. Brief, light, taking the moment never taken before, a moment so nearly lost )
[There won't be any playing this off, and Jack isn't sure he'd want to, anyway. Too often they've danced around each other, toeing the brink but then backing down in the interest of their responsibilities, or something more important. Now that it seems to be actually happening, Jack finds himself a little frozen, at least until Ana takes the lead. She kisses his cheeks and it isn't quite anything they haven't done before, but there's new meaning behind it that's difficult to write off. He leans into her naturally, almost a reflex.
Then she kisses him straight on, and it's more than enough to catch him off guard. It's gentle, quick, but he's left hanging, as she pulls away just as he realizes how he should be responding.
There's a singular moment of hesitation as he process this, before he all at once realizes how badly he's wanted this. Jack can't even remember how long he's wanted this--just that some part of him has always been hers, likely from their very first meeting.
So it's only a moment before he's reciprocating, leaning back into her and kissing her fully, hand slipping around the small of her back to pull her close.]
( There's a definite feeling of relief when Jack kisses her. There'd been small shows of affection before, a little more from Ana than Jack but the care had been there. Knowing that kissing him was the right move...
Her hand relaxes some on his chest, and she's a little grateful of the stairs for keeping them pretty level. Ana tilts her head up, pulling herself closer as she kisses him again.
Later she might have to check, again, that it wasn't a dream. Jack back from the dead, the two of them scrubbing out their uncrossed line. But that was later.
After so long the kiss only feels a few seconds when Ana breaks it, resting her forehead on his as she takes a breath, chuckling a little )
[Now that he's started, he doesn't actually want to stop, though the fact that they're still on the stairs doesn't escape him. It removes the height difference, with Ana on a higher step, but it's still a little awkward, and he entertains the idea of picking her up and relocating her. Jack feels like he's on tenuous ground as it is, so he keeps them right where they are, not wanting to ruin the moment.
Because this is a moment. He's still not sure what he's going to do with it, exactly, but it seems right, at least until Ana has to come up for air.]
Are you laughing at me?
[He says it good-naturedly enough that it might be a joke, his forehead resting against hers, but there's a real anxiety there, like he's still worried he's done the wrong thing, or that she doesn't actually want this. Jack's head tilts slightly so he's speaking against her cheek, making it clear he's not ready to pull away just yet.]
[They're not as young as they used to be, and he can't help but feel like he's wasted so much time. But it's not really anything he needs to apologize for, because of course this has always been an impossibility. Jack would never subject Ana to a covert relationship, and that would have been the only option, given the chain of command and the fact that it would have been an unconscionable breach of protocol.
Even now, he wonders if this is a good idea--maybe it's all well and good to fool around while they're trapped on an alien planet, but back home they have a mission to complete. Jack is duty-bound; fighting a war he's not certain he'll ever see the end of, and he's acutely aware that Ana has been dragged back into it solely because of him. He's not a whole person and he knows he doesn't deserve this, either. She shouldn't want him the way he is now, and Jack shouldn't subject her to it.
There is, however, a part of him that has wanted this so badly and for so long that he can't bring himself to care. Jack kisses her again and this time he scoops her up in his arms, effortlessly lifting her and taking them both off the stairs. He's not sure where they're going, exactly, but he has to break the kiss to see where he's going, tempting as it is to keep lingering right where they are. He uses the opportunity for a confession, sounding a little breathless.]
( The lack of warning makes her movement a little jerky, grip at first a little tight as her hand finds his, grasps it as he moves them.
And then he breaks the kiss, and part of her damns his confession, thinking for a moment that maybe they could figure the talking out later, get on with the important part while they've started.
Except she's curious, because Jack doesn't say things just to say them. Her thumb traces lightly over the back of his hand, and Ana tips her head up to look at him )
I hope it lives up to it.
( She might be a little out of practice, and a lot older than when he might have imagined it before, but Ana would like to believe that she hasn't lost her touch.
She's also not, at least yet, admitting that she'd also thought about it before, imagining a great many things between them )
[To Jack’s credit, he doesn’t keep her in limbo very long—just enough to get them both off the stairs and into the living room, where he sets her down on the couch and pulls himself up next to her, feeling a little rusty but doing his very best not to show it.]
Better.
[The truth is, of course, is that some part of him has wanted this almost from the moment they met, though the last thing he wants to seem is desperate.
But Jack doesn't feel her hand on his, only realizing it's there when he feels the touch further up on his wrist, through the brace. By then, however, he's already moving, bringing his hand up to touch her face, pull her in closer. Perhaps it's out of reflex, as he's still not used to lacking functionality in his dominant hand, or perhaps he's holding out hope that whatever they botched when they brought him back will correct itself over time. It doesn't matter either way when he makes contact and can't feel it, when he tries to brush his thumb across her cheek and the nerve signal ends at his forearm, an aborted motion that he wants desperately to accomplish, but physically can't.
She has to know, now. He'd managed to distract her from it momentarily, but she was going to find out sooner or later. Still, he can't bring himself to outright describe what's wrong, as all this really does is remind him of how broken he really is, how lost he'd be without her.
Jack bows his head a little, exhaling audibly as if trying to collect his thoughts, to offer her something more substantial than any of this. His head falls against her shoulder, and he braces himself for the question.]
( the touch is a little clumsy, a little less gentle than what she's come to know from him. the touch, along with the brace that he'd picked up-- something was wrong. he hadn't had the brace when he'd died, and unless gabriel had hurt his hand in the attack he hadn't been injured.
she takes his hand in both of hers, a protective glove, only slipping one hand away momentarily to take a look at his hand before she covers it again )
What happened?
( he'd tried to distract her before, and had succeeded, but she would have to know at some point. ana tips her head to rest against his. whatever was wrong, whatever he had to tell her, it would be alright. they'd figure it out. together )
[He almost looks ashamed, even though it's only tangentially his fault. For Jack, it all loops back around to the fact that he never should have allowed this to happen in the first place--never should have put himself in a position where they'd be in this much danger. Now, he's paid the price.]
Can't move it.
[It's not the end of the world. He's trained to shoot and fight with both, so his combat ability isn't lessened. It's just the smaller things that will take some relearning. Some getting used to.]
They said it happens sometimes, when they bring people back. Something goes a little wrong. Can't feel anything with it, either.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dad's home
Even if he's here now--if any of this is even real in the first place--it doesn't change the fact that Reaper likely wreaked havoc in his absence, which means he needs to catch up as soon as possible. Having a goal in mind helps the numbness, the uncomfortable realization that he was dead and now he's not, but he still moves like he isn't sure whether or not this is actually happening. If he's dreaming up some sort of afterlife that he took great pains to convince himself didn't exist.
What's important is making sure his people are okay, starting with Ana. He lingers in the Ingress complex long enough to get a brace for his hand (imperfect technology--this happens sometimes, when people are brought back), trying to come to terms with all of this. Any of this.
The sight of the house once he reaches Region 2 is far more comforting than it has any right to be, and Jack wastes no time letting himself in the front door. His breath catches in his throat, leaving him unable to call out for the other occupant of the house, but his entrance is not exactly subtle either way.]
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It had led her to spending most of her time in Jack's room. It's not sentimental but practical. His walls are still decorated with his theories, things that Ana had added to and had worked even more on over the past few days. Jack was dead but that didn't mean that the- that she could stop on trying to uncover the truth. She would, if only to prove him right. To prove them right.
The noise of the door brings Ana's attention away from the note that she'd been attaching, abandoning it to the floor as she grabs her sidearm from the dresser. Her steps are quick but quiet as she moves out into the hallway to descend the stairs.
Seeing the figure her gun is instantly pointed to them, mouth open to speak and-- )
Jack?
( يا إبن إل شرموطة )
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He stands frozen, the expression on his face a clear indication that he's not sure any of this is real. He barely registers the gun. When he tries to speak, he finds he has nothing to say, and he imagines he looks completely dumbfounded at the sight of her.]
Ana--
[That's all he manages to say before his body catches up, crossing the distance to the bottom of the stairs. It might be real--it might not be, but all he can think is that she's here and she's safe.]
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You died.
( For real, this time. It wasn't as if he'd just disappeared as she had, Ana had seen the life drain from him, seeing Gabriel's actions. Jack had died, and his body had been taken. Whatever this was it couldn't be him, and she'd already seen false Jacks once here -- she wasn't going to let her guard down on this )
What do you want?
( What does he hope to do other than torment an old woman? Or kill her? )
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[Jack sounds disbelieving, too, because he remembers it all. He knows what she saw, what she must have seen. Even with reports of the Ingress bringing people back to life, how can you possibly believe it when you see the murder happen?
But it takes him a moment, the gun genuinely confusing him before he realizes that of course she doesn't trust this. It's some kind of trap. It has to be, because there's no other explanation. If their roles were switched, he'd be doing the same thing.
He knows better than to try and close the distance, and instead he raises his hands slowly in defense, trying to think of something he can say to put her at ease. All be wants is to go to her, and Jack has never been particularly patient. There's nothing he can do but try and convince her.]
They brought me back. [Somehow. He doesn't understand it, and he isn't sure there's no catch, aside from his hand.] It's me.
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This... she wasn't to believe, but there's also nothing telling her it certainly is him (other than her own wishes) )
And why should I believe that?
( Prove it. You know what you gotta do )
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I got shot evacuating Giza after we quarantined Anubis.
[A stray bastion unit, one that should have shut down with the God Program. Jack pulls up his compression shirt to reveal the scar--a clean entry wound, where the bullet ripped straight through his abdomen. Incapacitating even for a super soldier.
He doesn't understand why all of his scars are still intact--surely a genuine resurrection is impossible--but he's glad he still has them, if only for this.]
You waited with me while the rest of them brought in the drop ship. Bled all over your gear. You said if I lived you'd take me to Hawaii the next time we got a vacation.
[It's something that happened in another life, but it brings a wistful smile to his face all the same.]
I never went.
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Slowly her gun lowers, smile forming )
You never were good at vacations.
( Though neither was she. They always had one more mission to do, something troubling them too much to leave.
It really was him, and Ana's relieved about that -- if confused )
How are you alive?
( He'd said, but this sort of thing didn't happen )
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I don't know. I woke up in the Ingress Complex. They told me it's been three days.
[All he wants to do is reach out to her, but he thinks there will always be a part of him that worries it's not real. And how can he get close, when he might not even be the same, and he put her through all this in the first place? They're in this mess because he thought he could deal with Reaper alone. His shoulders slump and his head bows, posture thoroughly contrite.]
I'm sorry.
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You didn't know what he had.
( They knew what he'd try, and the lengths that Gabriel would go, but not what he had done to get there.
Ana also knows what else his apology means. It's not simply for dying but for the emotional turmoil of what that action had done. Even though she'd felt agony over his death, and had perhaps been a little obsessive (and not at all grieving) over the past few days, what she felt now...
He was back. That was the important part )
I'm glad that you're here.
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[He'd let his guard down, assumed he could take care of it on his own, and paid the price. He's lucky that she's unhurt--Jack knows full well what Repaer might have done in his absence, and he'd been expecting to walk home and find it all gone. He'd have no idea what to do if that were the case. It had all been his fault.
As soon as she touches him, that's all the permission he needs. Jack steps closer and lifts his arms a little, leaning into her gesture so that he can pull her into an embrace. It's tentative, at first, like he doesn't quite know what he's doing, but she's warm and she's real, and he gives himself over to instinct. Jack bends into her, pulling her close and burying his forehead into her shoulder.]
Shouldn't have put you through that.
[Any of it--shouldn't have left her vulnerable. He breathes deeply, taking her in, trying to tell himself that it's all right now, even if it hasn't been for a very long time.]
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It doesn't matter.
( It does. Gabriel had finally taken that step, and they now wouldn't know what he might do. But they'd be together for whatever came.
Though... ) What happened to your hand? ( Yeah, she'd noticed the brace in the initial encounter )
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Which means she’s going to bring up his hand, though Jack makes no moves to pull away from her or show it—she’ll have to take hold of it herself if she wants to get a good look (not that he’ll be able to feel it if she does so). He’s still perhaps holding out hope that whatever went wrong with it will right itself eventually, though deep down, he knows that he’s lost it for good.
It’s not something he really wants to think about, and it’s not something he wants her to be worrying about either, even though it’s in her nature to do so.]
Don’t worry about it.
[Just a side-effect, and he’s lucky to be mostly intact otherwise. He doesn’t seem to want to move from where he is, and instead tilts his head slightly to press his lips to her cheek, an impulsive gesture that’s a clear attempt to reassure her.]
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Ana starts to make a move for it, hand raising to rest on his elbow, body shifting slightly.
Then his lips press to her cheek, and her movements pause -- fingers gently gripping his elbow )
Jack?
( Her voice is hushed. Curious, cautious. She stops her move to check his hand, letting that slip to the back of her mind for later once he's settled, and her head dips an inch, resting back against him )
I'm here, Jack. ( He had to be a little confused, knowing he was dying and then suddenly that was not the case. Though Ana had questioned whether he was real she didn't think that he may have had similar questions ) I'm here.
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Now, it seems to matter less, but there's still that hesitation, that self-imposed restriction that's more a force of habit than anything. Still, he wonders if he hasn't made a mistake.]
I'm sorry.
[For an awful lot of things. She doesn't push him away and he crumpled slightly, not wanting to move from the embrace.]
I thought I was gonna lose you again.
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So did I.
( There's a slight huff, a heavy release of breath. Her fingertips have been rubbing a light circle on his elbow, trailing down his arm as Ana leans back to look at him, the hand on the back of his neck slipping down to the top of his chest )
I'm glad that it was not forever.
( Even with what it might mean. She's just relieved that it isn't a pain that she has to live with forever, because Ana doesn't know what that would mean. Or what she would do.
There's a couple of seconds of silence, Ana simply watching him, before she leans back in, lightly kissing his cheek.
Once. Twice.
And then him. It's a gentle shift before her lips are on his, just for a few seconds. Brief, light, taking the moment never taken before, a moment so nearly lost )
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Then she kisses him straight on, and it's more than enough to catch him off guard. It's gentle, quick, but he's left hanging, as she pulls away just as he realizes how he should be responding.
There's a singular moment of hesitation as he process this, before he all at once realizes how badly he's wanted this. Jack can't even remember how long he's wanted this--just that some part of him has always been hers, likely from their very first meeting.
So it's only a moment before he's reciprocating, leaning back into her and kissing her fully, hand slipping around the small of her back to pull her close.]
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Her hand relaxes some on his chest, and she's a little grateful of the stairs for keeping them pretty level. Ana tilts her head up, pulling herself closer as she kisses him again.
Later she might have to check, again, that it wasn't a dream. Jack back from the dead, the two of them scrubbing out their uncrossed line. But that was later.
After so long the kiss only feels a few seconds when Ana breaks it, resting her forehead on his as she takes a breath, chuckling a little )
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Because this is a moment. He's still not sure what he's going to do with it, exactly, but it seems right, at least until Ana has to come up for air.]
Are you laughing at me?
[He says it good-naturedly enough that it might be a joke, his forehead resting against hers, but there's a real anxiety there, like he's still worried he's done the wrong thing, or that she doesn't actually want this. Jack's head tilts slightly so he's speaking against her cheek, making it clear he's not ready to pull away just yet.]
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( At him, herself. At the fact that after 30 years it takes his actual death to bring this about.
Okay, maybe she's not chuckling about that but she is laughing at them a little. Let an old woman be amused.
She doesn't make any attempt to move away, instead letting the hand on his chest drop down, searching his own hand )
I never imagined my day going like this.
( Or going as well as this. She's pretty sure that this is the best day that she's had in a while )
But it certainly is better than what I'd planned.
( Just so there is zero doubt in his mind. She wants this, Jack Morrison. She wants you )
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[They're not as young as they used to be, and he can't help but feel like he's wasted so much time. But it's not really anything he needs to apologize for, because of course this has always been an impossibility. Jack would never subject Ana to a covert relationship, and that would have been the only option, given the chain of command and the fact that it would have been an unconscionable breach of protocol.
Even now, he wonders if this is a good idea--maybe it's all well and good to fool around while they're trapped on an alien planet, but back home they have a mission to complete. Jack is duty-bound; fighting a war he's not certain he'll ever see the end of, and he's acutely aware that Ana has been dragged back into it solely because of him. He's not a whole person and he knows he doesn't deserve this, either. She shouldn't want him the way he is now, and Jack shouldn't subject her to it.
There is, however, a part of him that has wanted this so badly and for so long that he can't bring himself to care. Jack kisses her again and this time he scoops her up in his arms, effortlessly lifting her and taking them both off the stairs. He's not sure where they're going, exactly, but he has to break the kiss to see where he's going, tempting as it is to keep lingering right where they are. He uses the opportunity for a confession, sounding a little breathless.]
I used to think about this.
[On occasion.]
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And then he breaks the kiss, and part of her damns his confession, thinking for a moment that maybe they could figure the talking out later, get on with the important part while they've started.
Except she's curious, because Jack doesn't say things just to say them. Her thumb traces lightly over the back of his hand, and Ana tips her head up to look at him )
I hope it lives up to it.
( She might be a little out of practice, and a lot older than when he might have imagined it before, but Ana would like to believe that she hasn't lost her touch.
She's also not, at least yet, admitting that she'd also thought about it before, imagining a great many things between them )
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Better.
[The truth is, of course, is that some part of him has wanted this almost from the moment they met, though the last thing he wants to seem is desperate.
But Jack doesn't feel her hand on his, only realizing it's there when he feels the touch further up on his wrist, through the brace. By then, however, he's already moving, bringing his hand up to touch her face, pull her in closer. Perhaps it's out of reflex, as he's still not used to lacking functionality in his dominant hand, or perhaps he's holding out hope that whatever they botched when they brought him back will correct itself over time. It doesn't matter either way when he makes contact and can't feel it, when he tries to brush his thumb across her cheek and the nerve signal ends at his forearm, an aborted motion that he wants desperately to accomplish, but physically can't.
She has to know, now. He'd managed to distract her from it momentarily, but she was going to find out sooner or later. Still, he can't bring himself to outright describe what's wrong, as all this really does is remind him of how broken he really is, how lost he'd be without her.
Jack bows his head a little, exhaling audibly as if trying to collect his thoughts, to offer her something more substantial than any of this. His head falls against her shoulder, and he braces himself for the question.]
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she takes his hand in both of hers, a protective glove, only slipping one hand away momentarily to take a look at his hand before she covers it again )
What happened?
( he'd tried to distract her before, and had succeeded, but she would have to know at some point. ana tips her head to rest against his. whatever was wrong, whatever he had to tell her, it would be alright. they'd figure it out. together )
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Can't move it.
[It's not the end of the world. He's trained to shoot and fight with both, so his combat ability isn't lessened. It's just the smaller things that will take some relearning. Some getting used to.]
They said it happens sometimes, when they bring people back. Something goes a little wrong. Can't feel anything with it, either.
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